Net Worth Update: August, 2019

Our net worth increased to $52,326 and €47,141, representing a growth of 1.7% and 1.98% respectively month over month.

Investment Volatility

I hadn't expected a positive return this month because of the trade war and subsequent market sell offs. It hurt our numbers, but that's the life for anyone holding risk assets.

I'm getting pretty good and dealing with the volatility. The past year or so has really opened my eyes to what the markets can do as a whole and what can happen to individual stocks. Some of my positions have really gotten hurt the past month, but I don't see any reason to sell them, so I'll just sit tight and consider what they'll look like in ten or more years.

Larger Income

The big reason our number was up was because I got paid a bunch of extra money for some extra work I did, and my wife worked through the summer rather than travel to the US with me. When we take our trips abroad, we have to not only reckon with the costs of the trip itself but the opportunity costs associated with her missing work. Things slow down in the summer here, but they don't grind to a halt, so she can still earn decent money.

Vacation Costs

The difference in vacation costs this year vs. last year were enormous. The flights were paid for with Citi ThankYou points and some taxes and fees, and then I spent a few hundred bucks while there. Everything we did that was sort of fancy was paid for by family, and had they not wanted those things, I could have done without. The goal of these trips to connect with them rather than have a fancy vacation. I'd be just as happy sitting in their living rooms as on a boat or beach.

I didn't pay for housing, because they housed me. I never paid for a hotel and was welcomed into family homes for the duration. I try to be a good house guest, and they're happy to have me, but that could change if their circumstances change.

It will be hard to ever switch back to the vacation style where my wife and I travel together for several weeks to various corners of the US. We're already planning a targeted trip for her to see her family directly that will require probably no hotels or rental cars or long drives since I won't be there. And if she does that, and if some family visits me, then maybe we can avoid a trip to the US next summer.

Turning Stuff into Money

I sold a camera this month, and although I enjoyed the camera and will miss using it, the money hitting my hand in return for it felt good.

We have several things that I really need to get onto Facebook Marketplace and Ebay Kleinanzeigen. I was shocked how easy it was, and these services reminded me of Craigslist minus all the weird stuff.

I also sold an old iPad while in the US to Gazelle. I should have done it years ago as it only netted me ~ $26. But, hey, that was money I didn't have before, and now I don't have a device just collecting dust and mental space.

September Forecast

I bet we're going to lose money this next month. I have an enormous dentist bill to pay, and we didn't earn a ton of money last month. We also have a giant tax pre-payment to make, so there you go.

But the market could spike, and if we restrain our spending, then it could all be a miraculous wash.

My Baby Boomer Parent is Poor

I have a ticking time bomb in my family, and it’s ticking in the background of every financial and life decision I make.

Namely, I have a baby boomer parent who has absolutely nothing saved for retirement. In fact, they're loaded with debt. That includes student loans and who knows what else. I don't have a full picture of how bad the situation is, but I don't really need it. It's bad.

And I don't know what to do about it. I keep hoping for some miracle to arrive to salvage the situation, but that's looking increasingly unlikely. The last set of potential miracles have to do with inheritances from a very elderly relative, but even then it's a long shot, and whatever inheritance there is might not cover them for any more than a decade or so.

The trouble with relying on inheritances is that they can vanish quickly due to medical costs. A person may have assets, and then suddenly they don’t any more due to the high costs of end-of-life care. Additionally, my parent has proven that they aren't especially good with money, and I don't exactly see why that would change with an inheritance.

The most likely solution is that my sibling and I will have to subsidize this parent. We're both working and earning decent middle class incomes. But adding in another recurring expense isn't something I'm relishing exactly, and it will absolutely jeopardize other life goals that I/we have.

We're Probably Not Alone in This

I think there are a lot of us millennials who are facing similar realities. It's funny: there's a lot of worry about how it's hard for young people to afford housing in modern America, but it's also true for those entering retirement age without any real assets or income streams. If you got into a home in the 70's or 80's and held onto it, you're probably sitting pretty, but if you didn't or uprooted yourself as my family often did, you might be facing serious hardship to afford housing.

Add in the fact that we millennials are behind other generations in terms of wealth due to various factors, and a poor parent becomes another financial stressor.

Potential Strife in the Family

But it is more than financial. It’s a relationship stressor. It’s the kind of thing that leads to resentment.

For example, I don't think my parent could stay where they currently live because it's just too expensive. But then where to go? And who gets to decide? And what if they refuse? And the parent lives near my sibling now, but after a move they’d have to be substantially further away due to COL issues. I don’t want them to feel banished in any way, but how can we afford the current location? It's an overwhelming series of questions, frankly, and none of the answers are likely to make anyone happy.

Naturally, this is also a potential recipe for marital strife. If one spouse wants to subsidize their parent, but the other doesn't, then who wins in that scenario? Or does everyone lose? Luckily for us (ha ha) we each have one parent who will likely be in a similar situation.

Because we're abroad, we're spared in some sense from the immediacy of the challenge, but we're also limited in the help we can offer. I can't just run over and repair something or move something. I do a fair amount of tech support over chat or FaceTime, when I could more easily just fix those problems myself were I there in person.

This naturally puts a lot of pressure on my sibling back home, and I recognize how unfair it is. However, because of my strange career, I'd be less financially helpful if I dropped everything and moved back. When I followed my current career, I couldn’t see the future and plot just how little the parent's financial situation would improve. Had I, I might have done something different. I love this person. I do not want them to suffer.

Self Sacrifice Within Limits

With that I have to say: I still have my life to live, and I don't want the latter half of my life primarily dictated by subsidizing a parent.

To sum up, this is one of those known/unknowns in my life. How bad will this be, and when will the hammer fall? I could find out any day now.

Please forgive my vague pronouns. I'm trying to maintain anonymity for myself and everyone around me while discussing this stuff, so I try to be as precise as possible about the situation and as vague as possible about the identities.