I've hit a kind of mental stumbling block recently. I've run out of levers to pull at my job.
What I mean by "levers": when I look at my budget, I see places where I can focus to save more. By making a choice over here, I can cut our grocery bill. By doing x I can cut the electricity bill. If x then y. Onwards and onwards.
With a career, there are similar levers to pull. I can network. I can work harder or smarter. I can simply be better at a given task.
When thinking about levers, the basic concept is that with the effort, one should expect to see some result, and the result should ideally scale with the effort at a minimum.
At my job, I earn a salary and then additional money from some extra work that sometimes comes my way. I don't get to decide when I get this work, and the value that I get monetarily is highly variable. But I get this work because I'm reliable and have given a lot of effort when I've been given the opportunities to do it. In this case it's "if x then maaaaaybe y".
This December, I earned the most money from this extra work that I may ever earn from it from one assignment. And it was exhausting. My wife says that when I began, my stress level jumped up, and it didn't come down for months. I put so much effort and personal pride on the line for this extra work, and there's no moving up from here. I know what kind of additional extra work I'll get this next year, and it's not like I'll be rewarded with more pay as a consequence of my previous efforts. I got the money, and now it's on to the next thing, and the next thing doesn't reflect the previous effort I've given at all.
I find this incredibly frustrating, and I don't know what to do about it. On the one hand, I could change jobs, but due to the homogenization and unionization of this particular industry in Germany, it is unlikely that the situation will be meaningfully different elsewhere. Most likely, I'd just find myself in the same or worse situation. At the very least, at this job, I get the extra work, but I've gotten to this point after years of credibility building.
Starting elsewhere, I'd be beginning all over.
Not to mention, moving is expensive. I'd need a guaranteed upgrade to make it worth it. But again: the homogenization in the industry makes that unlikely. Where I am now has a funny balance of decent pay and relatively low cost of living. I could try for the same job in one of the larger German cities, but the COL would jump.
In summary: I've run out of levers at this job. I don't think I can push harder and make more money from it. There has to be some kind of paradigm shift to resolve this inner turmoil of mine. Some ideas:
- Drastically reduce spending. Go total LeanFIRE on our current circumstances.
- Find a side hustle. That's currently hard for me because I'm on a visa, and starting side businesses in Germany requires entering into the bureaucracy. This will be a better possibility once I get the German equivalent of a green card and get my permanent residency.
- Change careers. Not sure what that would be, and I'm not sure if I'd want to do it in Germany.
- Enter into a similar career within the same industry that might lead to better future opportunities. It's very risky in this particular industry.
- Take it easy and enjoy the work/life balance I have and be more cautious on how much personal stake I take in my job.
Some comments about the second and last points. I have a colleague - also an immigrant to Germany - who does his job but who has officially refused to take any of the extra work. Instead, he's built up a portfolio of rental properties that he owns and manages.
It's obvious that those properties are what he really cares about professionally-speaking, but he puts in his time at our employer and keeps his personal investment low. Meanwhile, he puts in back-breaking work on the properties. Those levers make sense and justify the effort: make an improvement on one area, and he can raise the rent or sell the property for more later. If x then y.
I used to resent him for his lackadaisical attitude towards the job we share, but maybe he has the right idea. Or at least, there's part of his strategy that I should adapt and adopt. Namely, I should back myself out of so much personal investment in the job. They aren't going to meaningfully reward me for anything beyond a certain point, and I need to find that point and live there.
And I need to develop something on the side. I don't know if rental property is that thing, since the American tax consequences might be awful (sigh), but I need to explore.
