In the past week and a half, I've lost more money in the markets (nominally) than I ever have. I wasn't investing in 2000 or 2008, and I cashed out the few stocks I had in 2015 to help pay off the student loans before that year's turbulence hit. Right now, I'm sitting on a large net loss that I predict will become larger.
With the fall yesterday, the S&P 500 looks like it will close below the ten-month moving average. This is a fairly rare event, and it's one of those possible triggers for trend-following people to close their positions and wait things out. I'm not going to do that, but I am and have been girding myself emotionally for the potential of a big drawdown.
I don't really feel any panic about this. Maybe I'm fooling myself, and if there's a 50% drawdown, I could conceivably panic. But I suspect I won't.
Tempered by past panics
In the past year, my tolerance for big drops has improved. I had my first taste about a year ago when one of my large holdings dropped by 16% in a day and then kept falling. I panic sold, and the holding eventually recovered, much to my chagrin.
After that I held more doggedly through big drops and was rewarded. I hated holding, but I did it, and one big draw down became a big winner, which I sold for a profit when the price appreciation looked too good to be true.
And then 2018 came, and suddenly big drops for some names didn't recover. Currently, I'm sitting on some securities that are very much drawn down, and the speed with which their plummets happened feels a bit punitive. When I described how one holding has fallen 40% since April on no real news, a friend laughed and said, "It's because God hates you."
But there's also something irrational about the plummets. Many of them are falling not because of their current actual performance but because of fears of future performance or fears of their markets being encroached by newer technology players. Fair enough. But the penalties in many of these cases are extremely pessimistic, and extreme pessimism can equal good value opportunities if the world doesn't fall apart. Which is admittedly a big "if" right now.
Backtests
One exercise that also helped gird me mentally was all the backtesting I did. There are some market drops that can be mostly avoided. The dot-com bubble was one such example. If you'd bought value at that point, you breezed through that basically unscathed.
Meanwhile, 2008 was a different beast altogether. If you're long-only, the only real way to dodge 2008 was to not be there. But if you weren't there in 2008, you probably weren't there in March 2009, and if you were there in March 2009, you were rewarded. Big time.
It's not easy. But it does show that the big drops are opportunities if you're buying. And they're also something to plan for.
Dreams of cheap prices
So there's a part of me that wants to see prices really fall. Like, c'mon lads, let's do this. Since I'm still earning money, I'd love for my future money to meet much lower prices. The CAPE ratio is still high, and if we think it has any predictive power at all, all of us who are buying securities right now should be praying for it to fall.
The only people who should be hoping for higher prices are those who aren't buying anymore or who are mega-rich. Higher prices don't help young people. Higher prices don't help savers. Think about how much you've already saved vs. what you will save in the future. Which number is bigger? If it's the latter, then you should want an 80% drawdown to happen (as long as you get to keep your job) because the compounding effects of that money will be so much greater.
So to wrap up, I've been training my brain to not get too distressed about this. There's some distress, not going to lie, but it's not panic, and if I'm not panicking now considering the amount of money I've lost, I doubt I'll panic later.
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